So Much On My Mind...

I was in the worst of moods when I came home from work today... Actually, it was on way home from work. I blamed it on my husband of course... what an easy target... he takes it in so wonderfully. I told him that "I just didn't want what we got for dinner." He went straight to the frozen food section and got whatever he wanted and then I searched for something to eat. I really didn't want microwavable food. Actually, I would have preferred going out some where. Yes, we do that alot lately. No not good on the pocket book... Today, was his payday so I figured maybe we would. You never know. I even told Missy and Dave earlier today, 'Travis should take me out for dinner. Today is his payday.' *sigh* So, I told him what I told her and he was like, "I should." And that is all he said. Well, I would he would have finished that sentence. Oh well.

Too explain my mood...

I have so much on my mind...

(My Job)
I can't say that I hate it with a passion because you know I don't. It is a job and well unfortunately I have to have one. I know what I have to do to get another one, it is just that I can't seem to find time, energy, and patience to do it! I'd love a job where I know what hours I work daily and what days I can plan things on! If I could go into business for myself I would. I would love to work 7 to 4 Mon thru Friday... Maybe even less hours on Friday. Who works like this? I know a few. Anyways, onward....

(My Age)
Yes, my age has been bothering me. I have noticed more and more grey hairs. *shocked face* And more and more little health issues each day. It scares me really. I don't want a full head of grey hair by 30... Although, I know it could happen. I'd color my hair if people around me didn't think it was vanity. Oh well... And yes, I know I just need to start taking care of myself... and I do try. It is just sometimes the market gets the best of me and I want that sugar that I am not supposed to have... *sigh*

Well, where do I even start here? I am that child bearing age where I want to start a family. Right now, I know we can't afford it... Because me being able to afford it would be me being able to stay home with the child. So, that may never even happen. Anyways, what I want to say is that I have baby fever. It hasn't gone away, in fact it has been there for QUITE some time now.
Relatives? Where are they? They are in WV. Not talking about In-laws. They are in this area and I see them almost daily! I love them dearly too. However, I really miss my family in West Virginia. I have missed some key events since being married... Bubby's death, Tyson's Birth... and Dew and Lisa's little one that is on its way... I wish someone from up there could come visit me. I'll eventually make it up there this summer. I miss Mom and Dad the most of course. Time is having an affect on their age too.. They aren't as young as they used to be. Not as strong either. Sometimes, I wish I could shed a few years away and go and do things differently.

I want to be the best I can be for God. I know I have slacked in alot of areas. However, these next few months I hope to get that back... back on track... Read more, pray more, witness more, devote more. Get in tune. See what God wants to do for this Turn Around Church in 2007. See where He wants to take Travis and I. Oh... and I want to bless Him... cause if I know if I bless Him, he will bless me in return. And I don't want to let any rocks cry out in my place... I want to do it before the rocks.

I was thinking earlier that I am tired of the same old same old. I am tired of just coming home tonight, getting on the computer, sitting around, making dinner, sitting around more. How boring is that? I mean, really, from as far back as '98... I can see a routine that I have been STUCK in. How do you get out of routine? We were raised that way too... if you think about it... You get up, you do this, do this, go to school, do this, do homework... yadda yadda... All boring. Anyways, maybe I should do some handstands (if I could)or something. Join some sort of club.. I don't know... go back to school??? Maybe finding a new job will help in that sort.

Enough for now,
I am going to bed. I work tomorrow at 9. At least it isn't until 11!

1 comment:

Rochelle said...

Wow... you certainly do have a lot on your mind! The most beautiful thing about this post is that before you ever spoke, well okay typed, a single word, God already knew it. And He loves you and has that perfect plan. It will unfold over time. It's the waiting that is difficult. But trust that He has your best interest at heart. :)